Ode of the Hermits
by Lonely L
Summary: On an average day ANBU don't generally bring home a genin from a remote and unknown shinobi village, they don't help incarcerated ninja break out for no reason, nor do they deal with suicidal women who actively hunt down danger for the thrill of it for no pay. Kakashi just considered it karma. Kakashi/OC ANBU-era
1. Chapter 1

Ode of the Hermits

* * *

She hummed, tapping her fingers to her crouched knee as she watched the unconscious person that was currently very unceremoniously on the ground next to her bed. Hey, she tried – the ninja-man was just so _freakin_gheavy she couldn't actually lift him from the floor. She hummed to herself for a moment, considered it – after all, she could very well _die_ – before reaching out and flicked him in the forehead.

He didn't even flinch. "Oh come _on_." She had no idea where he was from – which of the blasted countries that her village hid so tediously from, but what she _did_ know was that if he didn't up and at 'em soon _he_ was going to be found then they _both_ were going to be executed.

It was quite the exciting prospect.

Though she had to admit – she still would like to keep her head. It was quite the pretty head, after all, and she put so much _work_ into it that it seemed to be just a complete and utter waste to have it cut off into a rotting little straw basket. "If you don't wake up soon I'm going to take that mask off. I don't care about honour or… uh… being polite. And then I will go and _tattoo _a moustache on your face."

With chakra. In fact, if she was feeling particularly vindictive, she may tattoo a dormant explosive seal on his face too so if anyone decided to try to remove it ninja-man would have a perfect excuse to never remove his ANBU mask ever again.

He didn't move. What luck. Maybe if she poked him in the groin with a kunai. Nah, that was just a tad too harsh – he may wake up thinking she was the T&I Major instead of his saviour. And she had made him a _cake_ and everything.

"I have fo~od."

Nothing.

"You suck."

Still nothing.

"If I wanted to I could cut you up into fifty different pieces, place a seal and stick them back together." Of course that method was very testy, and more often than not the limbs just fell right back off but she had been working with _dead_ subjects.

Though by technicality, the limbs she cut off were dead, too. The chakra that circled through would still be there, just not active, but the same could be said of a stiff. _Damn_, she grumbled to herself, _how did I get roped into experimentation?_

She wasn't even a doctor. She could barely fix people up. She liked seals. Just because some genius decided that she should apply sealing to medicinal purposes and locked her into the little itty bitty _shack_ until she succeeded wasn't her fault. Fire Country was rumoured to have amazing medics, to have been going through advancement after advancement.

And they left her as their head researcher.

"Come _on_," she shook his shoulders, having acclimated herself to the very dangerous unconscious ninja-man in front of her. After all, if was very hard to think of someone was dangerous when she accidentally stepped on his face when she woke up in the morning, and then later in another 'accident' threw an egg at his face.

Her skills were crap. It's what happens when one is placed into house arrest on suspicion of treason with the arduous task of medicinal advancement. They didn't much care to let her keep her skills sharp. Though her seals were getting more impressive.

That didn't mean she wouldn't _kill_ for even _one_ of the _theories_ behind the infamous Uzushiogakure Fuinjutsu.

Or anyone's, really, because she didn't dare experiment past the second stratum in terms of seal difficulty. The first were generally very harmless; they were simple, predictable. The basis of all seals, but useless in terms of application.

Though, she supposed, if she was forced to she could probably cauterize a wound with one. Huh. _Note to self, put that on the next report_. Second stratum were the part of the seal that applied the base element that the first stratum created. Storage seals, explosive seals… The second rotation created seals that did one, simple action and were on the most part only used once.

Third rotation and higher were the complex, interesting, and so unbelievably dangerous that she never got the courage to put her chakra into them. That didn't stop her from sealing them all in one place so that if she ever did get the chance to escape she could just grab them and run.

"I made you a cake," she ticked one finger off, "I stitched up that wound on your side," another, "I can't do anything about your malnutrition but I _think_ you've been drinking the water I gave you," was that three or four ticks? Whatever, it didn't matter. She placed her hands on her hips. "Honestly, the _least_ you could do was _wake up_."

He didn't twitch. His breathing was just as even as it always was. So, he either was honestly in a dead sleep or he was incredibly good at pretending.

She cupped her hands around her mouth. "There's a fire!"

Nothing.

A loud, thunderous knocking rang through her home. She glanced in the direction blearily. "Oh, this should be fun. Don't breathe too loudly – they may kill you in your sleep you absolutely _useless,_" she hissed near his ear, "ANBU of… whatever village."

She pushed herself up by placing her hands on her knees and heaving her body. "I'm coming." They couldn't hear her, not with the seals she placed along every wall in her home. Ha! Serves them right.

She manoeuvred her way through her apartment – which was kept incredibly filthy and very disorganized for a little memory game. Oh, where did she leave that sheet of paper where she drew a toilet? Under the kitchen sink. The pink marble she coerced and stole from a six year old was underneath an upside down vile and has been there for three months.

She was waiting for an infestation, just to see if they would relocate her to deal with the problem. After all, she was _his_ daughter. They didn't want to kill her off just yet because if would mean that the legacy of their wonderful leader was a disgrace.

She wasn't really related to him. Not that it mattered.

She wrenched the door open, the sunlight spilling in and blinding her. She blinked once but didn't acknowledge that at the moment she couldn't see a single thing. "Yes?"

"Just stopping by to make sure you didn't off yourself."

She felt her smile stretch unnaturally across her face. "Oh, you are just so funny. So funny. I can't get over you," she slapped her knee, "hee hee, ho, haw, har."

The little blob of her visitor couldn't be let past the front door. The little blob of a visitor wasn't allowed to see her guest. The little blob of a visitor was about to get hit with one of the random frying pans that she had collected.

"You're garden seems to be doing fine."

"That it is."

"Are you going to starve?"

"I could do with a cow. Or a goat." She nodded, and slowly the outline of her tiny little farm came into existence… where, of course, the seals _she_ designed were etched into the fence line and leaded with conductive metal. Indestructible, in theory. In practicality all it really did was keep her – and her wonderful tattooed self – in.

Hopefully an ANBU would have a jutsu that would be able to melt off each and every little seal. Hopefully a flippin' _ANBU_ would be good enough to wipe away the seals that activated the _wonderful_ mark on her back.

Hopefully she would be able to walk past her little prison and _not_ have electric pulses wrack her body with searing pain. Yeah, just hopefully. Fingers crossed.

"I'll tell them. It'd be easier than having to go supply shopping for you."

"Uh huh." Kagami stopped by for social calls. Her visitor – which she was now certain of – did not. In fact, he rarely checked up on her that if she _didn't_ have a garden and a well she would have rightly starved to death. "Goro, what do you want?"

Goro, so creative. The fifth in his family, the fifth in line, the fifth in strength and… the fifth in looks! Ha! Though she couldn't really recall any of his siblings aside from Hiroto, which was a little brat of a child that liked to visit her by egging her house.

If it didn't stink she would have found it very amusing.

"You're set for another trial."

"Uh huh."

"They said they have a final decision."

"Uh huh." They said that the last six times, too. Unfortunately for them they still believed that she held the secret of her father's jutsu. Honestly, she just thought it was a mutated kekkei genkai. "Okay then."

"I'll, uh," he rubbed the back of his head, the colours only slowly coming back to her, "I'll vote against it."

"How kind of you." _So what? You can go and let me starve instead?_

"I know that Kagami-chan will too."

"That's nice."

"I'll try to get my clan to vote against it too."

"Every bit counts." Go away. Goro, honestly, your help isn't needed. She had her own escape plan all set – or a quick and more dignified death – waiting for her.

He nodded, licking his lips, looking very out of place. He nodded to her, turned to leave, but winced and stopped. He threaded his fingers along his scalp and through his light brown hair, cropped short out of convenience he once said, and tried to pull at the roots. He failed. "I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"That you can't die for honour."

Ah, yes, honour. Her gaze drifted for a moment before smiled polietely back at him. "So am I." As a runaway and a nuke-nin she wouldn't get that pleasure regardless. She wouldn't get the ceremony, she wouldn't get her place in her village's record books, she wouldn't get her name and history engraved in the Tomb.

She would be wiped away like a scorned piece of trash. Her only consolation was that she wouldn't get any of that regardless. She was a traitor for 'keeping her father's secrets'. Secrets that she knew absolutely nothing about.

"It's two weeks from now." Wonderful! Plenty of time to convince the ninja-man in her bedroom to help her escape. She could even use the secrets of her father's jutsu as bait – hopefully that wouldn't come to bite her in the ass later seeing as she knew jack shit but still!

"Goro?"

"Yes?"

"Can you get me chocolate then?" Chocolate was a very rare commodity that their little misanthropist village actually needed to travel to get. Gee, the horror, actually letting the world _know_ that they existed! It wasn't like they were top of the line assassins, either. They got on independently and had clients who wanted the job done with no political attachments.

Usually it meant that their clientele were complete and utter morons. Just because their village took 'hidden' to a whole knew meaning didn't mean that they were all that competent. Their best ninja was her father and he died helping refugees during the Third Great Ninja War. Helping. He probably could count the number of people he killed on two hands.

Two.

ANBU ninja-people on the other hand… Hell, the stories about what they did were legendary. All they did was kill people – at least, according to the rumours that managed to penetrate their walls. They were exciting, they were dangerous – they were _something_.

If she could get away with it she would stalk the man in her bedroom until he got fed up and murdered her. _That_ would be a good way to go. Not from starving because your caretakers forgot to restock your food supply.

"I'll try?"

"Okay," she began to push the door close, "Thank you!" It clicked shut. Pressing her ear against the wood she waited for the sound of Goro retreating – which was considerably difficult. Eventually she heard nothing, and past that point she waited several minutes more just to be sure.

Alright, nothing. Relaxing she straightened up. Now to see if she could get away with dumping a pot of cold water on—

Her back was slammed into the wall, something that was hanging there jamming into the back of her ribs, and her head smacked backwards. Disorientation settled in, her brain thoroughly rattled, it took her a moment for the multiple images to conform into one, solid being.

A silver-haired ANBU with a kunai pressing into her throat.

…Huh.

_So you were awake the entire time you crap ass ninja-man. _

* * *

_A/N: Just a little experimentation. I noted that there were a few countries on the Naruto map that were completely blank, so I thought: Hey, what if there were actually 'ninja' villages that really took to the meaning of 'hidden'. Only, of course, the OC in this story lives in a village whose ninja are generally quite weak. Just a fun little mash-up that I wanted to try out. Interested? R&R please!_


	2. Chapter 2

Ode of the Hermits

Chapter Two

* * *

She could feel the blade cut into her throat, deeper and deeper, right along her oesophagus. She didn't dare to breathe, though if she had to she would go out with one last bang and then maybe – _hopefully_ – have found a place in the Tomb.

It was highly unlikely, but at least she could die with that hope.

"I didn't," she whispered, willing nothing to move but her lips, "take off your mask." Please let that mean something to him. In her village respecting a person's secrets proved you were honourable. It meant that you were trustworthy, that you wouldn't pry.

Not that they had many secrets to begin with.

The kunai lightened up imperceptibility. He was letting her talk, which was a good thing because she didn't have a clue as to whether ANBU were allowed to speak during their missions or not. Or _maybe_ they had their tongues cut out so that they would be less likely to spill any secrets? She didn't know – but she _wanted to_.

She would die to get out of her village. To get out of the seclusion, the bigotry, the _fucking_ house. She would die, and most likely by this ninja's hand.

Which was better than the execution she was waiting for in the vague future.

"I don't have money," best to get that clear first; she couldn't _hire_ him. "I want you to help me escape."

The kunai was pressed closer and up, so that the flat edge rested against the bottom of her jaw and the tip against her jugular.

Her heart was beating erratically – it was the most alive she had felt in _years_. "You just have to melt off the seal on the posts."

This wasn't getting anywhere. The ANBU moved the kunai so that its edge lay against her jugular… but she had free access to speak. She bit her lip before swallowing down all the acidic saliva down. "I found you just outside the perimeter," no need to mention how she had dragged his body with a fire poker over until she could reach, "you were wounded – I fixed it," _tried_ to was the more accurate term, because there was no way that she had done it properly but hey – he was still standing and still _very_ capable of killing her so she must have done something right?

He moved back, keeping the kunai at the ready, but seemed more than happy to just book it right out of there. No, that _wasn't_ supposed to happen!

"If you're not going to help me get out then kill me!" End it! End this house and end the ever-pressing need to commit suicide and damn her soul and screw every last shred of family honour she had. She needed his help, not his compassion, not his loyalty.

Looking up, he was already gone.

She didn't care which jutsu he had used.

It was over.

She searched the floor for the next answer, and ran a hand through her ratted hair, pulling it back and away from her face. She cursed, then cursed again, and then turned her attention to the table in the room – the kitchen. The damn cake was in the corner, rotting in the sun.

She flipped the table over, and screamed.

If was so… _frustrating_. She had been waiting _twelve years_ for the chance and it had just _disappeared_. It didn't even have the decency to _walk_ out of her door. She heaved, each exhale a scream of disappointment, before she fell to a crouch and dug her hands into her hair and pulled.

Every follicle of hair could be ripped out for all she cared.

A quick laugh erupted from her. Maybe this time they will actually execute her. Rid her of this feeling and be done with it. Being caged and idle and _isolated_ was one of the worst things they could have done to her. Torture of a psychological level, except rather than pressing pain they pressed _loneliness_.

We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone.

Why did she have to live that out in the literal sense?

She needed air. At the very least she could soak in as much of the sky as she could before she would be dragged to the Centrepoint and shoved face down to await for a massive axe to hopefully kill her in one blow.

She didn't have that luck.

Then again, at least she would be getting a haircut soon. Having no access to knives or wire for years didn't leave a lot of options to trim one's hair.

Yeah, it was going to be alright. Goro may even really get her that chocolate, and for the next two weeks she could lay down in her garden and slowly eat it… thinking about flying, or what life would be like had she never been picked up by her father…

What it would have been like if she had been left alone near the borders of Amegakure.

She wiped her cheeks, checking for dampness, but found most of the frustration had yet to escape her eyes. Good. At least she could have that bit of dignity.

Opening the door, she froze. There, in the middle of the little path that Goro and Kagami often used was the silver haired ANBU, back to her, leaning heavily on one leg.

"If you want to die, why not just end it?"

The question he asked brought her to a pause, or maybe it had something more to do with the fact that he wasn't halfway back to wherever it was that he had come from, she didn't know. "It's against our culture."

"So?"

Not that it was any of his business, but hey – last words of a dead woman had a lot of weight, didn't they? "I'd rather not be humiliated like that."

"And asking someone to kill you isn't?"

When he put it like that there wasn't that much of a difference. "Ignore that."

"You were quite adamant about it."

She clenched her jaw. "It's less embarrassing then having your head cut off." In the mud, with the scent of corpses and shit in the air, surrounded by the village as they waited for it. They watched it – there was nothing else interesting to do.

They had probably been waiting for her to die for nine years.

"Your village is going to execute you?" The ANBU turned at that, tilting his head towards her. He shrugged. "Huh."

"They want secrets I don't have." Screw holding the lie that she had impressive techniques stored away in her little brain. If sympathy would get her there, then so be it. "I'll do anything." Please, she begged in her mind, please help.

She didn't want him to crush her hopes for the second time.

"Anything, anything?"

Even what he was suggesting. "Of course."

"You're quite desperate, aren't you?" It was almost like he was teasing her, but if she wanted out she would just have to shut up and take it.

"I'm," she tilted her head towards the ground, swallowing her already dead pride down, "grovelling at your feet, lord ANBU."

She imagined his eyebrow quirking upwards. "And here I was under the impression that grovelling meant that you had to be on your hands and knees."

Her lips pulled back in distaste, but she hurried down the three stone steps to the ground and practically threw herself on the ground by his feet in a very low bow, her fists holding her up from her nose touching the ground.

"And the begging?"

"Please."

He tsked his tongue. "I think you can do better than that."

"I will be your personal _slave_ as long as it means I'm not locked up here." Even if it meant she would be locked up in another, more sinister prison… twelve years was just far too much. That, and she could still hold out for the hope that there would be other inmates to talk to.

"That's quite the impressive offer," he hummed to himself, thinking about it. "Though I don't I have much need for a slave right now, sorry to say." She could feel the body heat of his feet leave. "I guess I'll take my leave then."

Her head snapped up, just in time to catch his wave… and his impressive limp.

Something was wrong with his leg.

"Wait!" There _was_ something she could honestly give him that he would need. "You're hurt."

He paused, not saying anything. She didn't know if it was an invitation to keep talking or what, or if he was just realizing the fact now or _what_ but none of it mattered. "This village is very hard to find – it's in the valley of a mountain you can only get to if you're coming from Iwa, but you had to have come the long way—"

"And who's to say that I'm not an Iwa-nin?"

A guess, a hope, a plea to Kami. "If you're aim is any other village… or country… the fastest way is to go through the mountains." Mountains couldn't change – the passages had to be the same; they wouldn't change the tunnels around just because she was locked up in a house.

"And walking through a mountain is the solution to my injury."

"They're goat paths." Something else, something else… "It will cut your travel time in half. Less time to be on your feet."

He seemed to think about it, the mask incredibly deceiving. The curled mouth of the dog or wolf or whatever it was supposed to be made it look like he was laughing at her.

"Your plans after being let out?"

Plans? She had a million different plans. She wanted to travel the world, to taste a million different foods – to live enough to make up for the twelve years she had been locked away and the eleven before she had been trapped in the village. "I don't know. Eat food that I didn't make, I guess." Hot, steaming food that she had never tasted before… whether it is good or bad.

"That's rather simple."

"I have more!" She bent her head back to the ground, and somehow found the dark space of her body comforting. "That's just the first thing I want to do."

"What about being a kunoichi?"

"I haven't trained in twelve years." It was pretty hopeless ambition to go for now, not to mention how unlikely it was that a Hidden Village would even consider allowing them into their ranks. "The best I can do is make low-level seals."

"Even those in the right hands can be dangerous."

"Then I promise not to go anywhere near a Hidden Village." She pressed her forehead into the dirt. "I swear on my life."

"The life you asked me to take not ten minutes ago? Some promise."

"On my honour, then."

"You're still asking me to break you out so you won't have to face execution. Not all that honourable, betraying your village and all that. You'll become a nuke-nin."

"Can't be a nuke-nin if no one knows that this village exists." They didn't even have headbands for Kami's sake. They were as isolated as possible, inbred, and stupid. Everyone was very incredibly stupid.

"I assure you, you can."

She could feel her teeth grinding. "I baked you a cake?"

"Oh, you did? How thoughtful." It wasn't poisoned, either, you crap ass ninja-man. If she had poison she may have been too tempted to end it herself, humiliation or not.

"Please."

The masked man inclined his head, and began to twirl the kunai that had, she realized, always been in his hand. "No."

_You've got to be kidding me_.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Please R&R!


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